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Self Confidence: How Women Are Getting Their Lives Together

Self Confidence: How Women Are Getting Their Lives Together


It’s not easy to find ways on how women can get their lives together after a series of failures. Your experiences can make or break you. As a woman who aspires to survive the toughest journeys in life, you will face crossroads that often make you wonder about the “whys” and the “hows.”

Why are you here? How are you going to move forward?

In a research conducted by Dove Self-Esteem Fund, they found that 7 out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough. According to the study, girls evaluate themselves according to their looks, performance in school, and relationships with family and friends. They are led to believe that they will become more acceptable if they change their appearance or eating habits. Unfortunately, these feelings and beliefs can develop as the girl grows older.

Self-Esteem Development

According to psychologists, women develop their self-esteem from 14 to 30 years old. You will gain confidence after you survived some difficult situations in life. Eventually, you will learn how to communicate with people effectively and face criticisms. However, some other factors contribute to low self-esteem including abusive relationships, unsuccessful marriage, career advancement and social status.

Surprisingly, most women link their low self-esteem factors to self-image. If a woman thinks she is not attractive, it will make her feel like she is the reason why her husband does not want to fight for their marriage to survive. She feels like her looks affects her career advancement and it’s probably the reason why she doesn’t get any promotion. A woman who doesn’t have many friends may think it’s probably because she’s not skinny or not fashionable. In a woman’s mind, her connection to the world always comes down to her appearance.

How to Beat Self-Sabotaging?

Self-sabotaging is a state of mind, which entertains defeat before even taking an action. When it comes to appearance, you may feel like you don’t have what it takes to do something because you are not as beautiful as the other women who are doing the same thing.

So how are women to get their lives together after going through bad experiences in life?

  1. Keep in mind that your physical appearance is not everything – Your body is not just an instrument to show off. Think about the things that you can do with your body. You can use your hands to paint, your mouth and voice to sing, and your feet to dance.

  1. Determine the people around you who influence your life – It could be your boss, your spouse or your friends. Why are you drawn to them? Consider their attributes that make them more interesting and look more appealing.

  1. Go back home – Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, said that going back home does not mean going back to your parents’ house. After a series of heartbreaking experiences, consider the things that matter the most to you. It should be something, which matters more than your appearance. If you love writing, keep writing. If you love music, keep making music. Whatever happens, always go back home. Go back to where you truly belong.

Don’t allow your environment and circumstances to shape your being and your life. Elaine Maxwell said, “Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own.” You are the only one who is in charge of your self-confidence. Breaking from negative self-talk is the most effective way on how to get your life together regardless of your age.