It’s not easy to find ways on how women can get their lives together after a series of failures. Your experiences can make or break you. As a woman who aspires to survive the toughest journeys in life, you will face crossroads that often make you wonder about the “whys” and the “hows.”
Grateful people continue to stay grateful. These people get more things and people to be grateful about. When you are grateful you are living. You are deciding that you are happy with who you are and what you have right now. You are happy with the direction you are going in. Having gratitude towards what is given to you is the ultimate key in being able to move forward and create a life full of possibilities and adventure. It is also the gift to confidence and being able to let go.
There are so many things that she wanted. She asked for this, she prayed for that, she looked for it and was waiting to see that but what she couldn’t seem to get was why she wasn’t getting it. Why was she not receiving any of it? In fact the more that time went by, it hurt her a little bit more. She wasn’t complete because she was waiting for what has been missing. It wasn’t until she really decided to listen to the core of her spirit and realize that God was waiting on her. He was waiting on her to let go, to make the move, to take the risk, to walk away, to say yes, to say no and to say right now. He was waiting on her so he can show out and deliver to her what she has been asking for. And in knowing this, she loved God and herself even more.
In Paris Hilton’s memoir, she said “Always pretend you are wearing an invisible crown. I do.” Unfortunately not everyone has the confidence of this celebrity. She makes it look a cakewalk but everyone knows being confident is a lot harder than it looks.
First off, what is confidence? What does it mean to be a confident individual? Is it about the way you walk and talk and dress? In some ways, it actually does involve those things. But the heart of being confident has to do with being comfortable in your own skin. It is about being who you are regardless of what society tells you to be. When you are secure with yourself, it flows out of you and into everything you are and do. There is no yard stick on how one should act to be confident. Confident people just are. Contrary to popular belief, the loudest person in the room is not the most confident. The loudest people are usually just cocky. Just because a person is quiet does not necessarily mean that they are not confident. Confident people know how to be heard just as much as they know how to listen.
People of all ages struggle with confidence, teenagers especially. Puberty is an incredibly awkward experience and without proper guidance, natural insecurities can be harbored and carried all the way into adulthood. People do not realize that doubting yourself is completely normal. They do not want to admit they are flawed. But no one is perfect. No one is good at everything. Confidence, like any other skill, can be learned, cultivated and mastered. Even the best public speakers know what stage fright feels like. Even the best doctors once wondered if their diagnosis was correct. It takes time to learn how to be okay with being you. Is it difficult? Sometimes but it is also necessary and worth it.
So how does one go about being confident? The following are tips that can help you accept yourself as and become the confident person you were always meant to be.
Confidence is about being you. A janitor must be treated the same way as a CEO because money is not a determination of self-worth. Neither are skills or other people. It comes from knowing you are and loving yourself for it. Be kind to yourself. Life gets hard sometimes but it does not rob you of your worth. Acknowledge your assets and see your flaws as areas to improve on. Most importantly, do not make a habit of constantly second guessing. Trust that you know what you are doing.
Do not take this out of context. Do not be a fake. Faking it just means that even when you are facing your scary boss and your knees are weak because you know you messed up, you stand tall and own up to it. Dig deep into your soul and believe that you are not one mistake so that when you walk into his office, he can let out the tirade you deserve and you will not be a blubbering mess. Take responsibility and learn from it but keep your chin up. You can cry later. Think of it as practice for the day that confidence becomes natural to you.
There is a fine line between being confident and being cocky. Oftentimes when people have achieved great success they forget the difference. Remember where you came from. A tree cannot reach the skies without its roots firmly on the ground. Do not think yourself better than other people because of your accomplishments. You may be unique but so is everyone else.
The most important thing about being confident is to stay true to yourself. When they say dress confidently, wear what you feel like wearing even if no one else likes it. Do not let yourself be confined by what society says is trending. There will always be resistance when you swim against the current. People may disagree with you but they will come and go. Your opinion is what matters most. Do you, be you. You might be pleasantly surprised at how many people like you as you are too.
No one is going to do it for you. You are more than capable to do it yourself. Not everyone will support you on your journey but you have God and he is your full support. You must be able to do this for you. You must understand that you are valuable and worthy of doing something new for you.
Human beings are social beings by nature. Today’s technologies have provided immense power to develop global socialization as the population all over the world rises. But the real big question is, “Is socializing nowadays still helping people or pushing them down instead?” The answer greatly depends on how one builds a “relationship.” Experts won’t tell you that amidst all the new diseases and viruses experienced by people today, one can still lengthen his or her life expectancy by just having healthy relationships. According to a review of 148 studies, people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely.
She wondered why she nothing was happening. She kept believing that her faith was just in her saying she had faith until she realized that her actions had to reveal her faith as well. Her actions spoke what she believed to the world. Her actions told others where her focus was and what she was expecting. It was in her realization that the union of her words and actions fostered an environment for her faith to truly live and bring her to her expectations.
Overthinking stops immediately by living in the present. She realized that when she focused on right now. It was through overthinking that she realized that she was in a place of fear. She was worrying that it won’t come out the way she hoped for and/or that based on past results she couldn’t think of a better outcome. It was in her overthinking that she became engulfed in doubt and losing out on feeling the way she wanted to feel because she had no control. She regained herself when she let go and started loving herself because she started trusting in God.
She started getting the real thing when she started loving what was real about her. When she knew that God was the living and most authentic thing to her existence, she started attracting friendships, relationships and circumstances that only feed into her spirit. She felt good. She felt loved. She felt freedom. She let go of what couldn’t preserve her and replaced it with what fortify her. It’s in this space she grew her confidence.
Love. People say it is a connection of two hearts, accepting someone with all his imperfections and seeing perfection in that person. Given that definition, it can be quite hard to find love. Love and relationship experts say that in order to be happy in life, you need to find Mr. or Ms. Right who will truly love and accept you. But what they won’t tell you is that you do not really have to look for this person anymore. Why?
Mistakes will always be made. The key is not to repeat those mistakes…over and over again. But a major key is not crucify yourself over your past and current mistakes. You should never allow yourself to live in the bondage of your hurtful thoughts and other’s hurtful words. It is through your words, your thoughts, your actions, and your beliefs that you can possibly be living in bondage because of how you chose to punish yourself due to a mistake that you’ve made. Now you may feel that you are no longer worthy of anything better because of those mistakes you’ve made. It’s time to free yourself from the bondage and start forgiving. If you can forgive yourself and free yourself from your own burden and mistakes. This is how you get back to loving yourself again!
The final say comes from God. It brings comfort to let go of your control to people and situations when you decide to depend on God. It is not your skills alone or possessions that will get you your desired results. It is all God. Once you decide to trust and believe that God everything in your life falls into place. When you decide that your dependency will only be on God, no one job or person who once was a source that provided something to you that leaves can permanently hurt you because your dependency is not on them but on the ONE and only main source which is God.
Strong women who want more in life know their priorities. They know what they want in life and they work hard to get it. They are aware of the risks of every decision they make so they ensure that they choose the best decision for them. There are so many things that a strong woman do differently to be successful in life.
Psychological studies show that people make the worse decisions after making a lot of decisions. Try to go shopping with a shopping list in the morning and do another shopping in the evening. You will notice that you are likely to shop impulsively at night.
There has always been a debate about the difference between someone who is cocky and some who is confident. Without a good eye and the right kind of judgment, it may be difficult to tell one from the other. A good illustration would be to imagine cockiness as the arrogant, obnoxious, self-centered cousin of confidence. They share the same genes but they have different parents. It is their origins that set them apart.
To get what you want you must know what you want. That is an easier said concept then actually done. One minute you may think you want one thing but change your mind the next minute. Understand that you always always always get what you are asking for in the right time.
The second step in getting what you want is in the action. Are you doing what is needed to get what you want? Regardless of what anyone tells you, work is always required to receive what you want. This work always comes in the form of growth. It may be spiritual work, physical work, and/or mental work needed….but to truly receive what you want you must respect that part of the process. This is one of the most amazing ways to invest in yourself.
Welcoming in the new means being able to embrace change. What that means is you must take some actions that are different from your norm to usher in a new life. You may need to alter your thoughts, beliefs, perspective, people, habits and/or environment. New situations and people come into your life when you make room for it and you decide that you will no longer fight against what is trying to change. When you welcome in the new, you demonstrate that you are continuously believing in better.
Everyday there should be work on improving yourself and things around you. The only way your work can produce results is when you create a habit and make promises to yourself and stick to them through self control. In other words, having discipline. It’s through discipline you create more avenues of opportunities for yourself to grow, love and conquer. It’s through self control that you will ultimately be able to grow your confidence in yourself.
Regardless of what has happened to you or what you have done to others, be open to giving love and being loved. No one or thing should suffer because of what has happened in the past and/or failed expectations. You were born from love despite flaws, and to get out of situations and places you are in your life you must operate in love. Do not allow fear to keep you from trying again and loving again and going after again your dreams, living passionately and loving others. Most importantly, forgiving others and yourself is the biggest act of love.
How do you choose peace? Choosing peace is knowing when to stop entertaining those that cause pain and suffering. Choosing peace means choosing to live the real you. It’s the allowing of your spirit to live freely in you in the most harmonious way with God which then gives permission to you to move forward with the acceptance of what is and who is because you are now at peace.
To get any desired result I realized you must be intentional. You must have the intention that you will do xyz to get this. Regardless if it does or doesn’t work out the first time, you must be intentional in knowing that you will get the result you want as long as it is planned with a purpose. You knowingly and willfully do and say things to help facilitate you manifesting things into your life. Life is not an accident and with every intentional move you make you will find yourself seeing signs of you being able to feel your results.
Nothing truly matters but this moment. Your moment right now. What are you doing? Are you loving yourself right now? Are you basking in gratitude? Are you overwhelmed with joy? If you are not doing any of these things, then it’s time to mindfully get into your present moment and live in your right now. This is just part of self care and ultimately one of the best ways to love on yourself. Doing so solves many mental, emotional, spiritual and physical challenges. Make some decisions that you will love on you right now.
One of the big things about miracles is that you must with out a doubt expect it to happen. You don’t need to expect to know and assist with the details. You just need to expect the miracle to happen. You must know your position in who you belong to, how you view yourself and your belief system. What may not have worked out for you in the past will now find a way to work out because you are no longer her in the past who doubted. You have the love and confidence for yourself to know that you are always provided and taken care of so your miracle will come. Expect it.
To let go of someone is one of the biggest decisions in life that everyone has to make especially when the heart is already in an unbearable pain. It is never easy to say goodbye to a person who used to be a part of your life as you feel emptiness when you look forward without his or her company.
Overthinking is an act that many people usually engage in. When you overthink situations, all your mental energies are geared towards a certain thing that you are focusing on and you withdraw yourself from the world for something that may not be worth engaging so much of your time with.
Based on “Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim your Life” (2003, Henry Holt and Company), statistics show that women are more likely to fall into overthinking because 57% of women are over thinkers. Men, of course, are of no exception because based on the study, 43% of men are over thinkers, as well.
Failure could be a barrier, or it could a propeller. If seen in a negative light, it will surely bring you down, but from a positive angle, it could mean opportunities. Managing failure is all about moving on from something you failed at by changing your perspective from negative to positive.
As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
So, while failure may feel like a strong punch to your face, remember that that’s just it—a punch. Dwelling too much is a waste of time and energy, not to mention a health risk. People who believe they failed in their employment or relationships were reported to be more susceptible to depression, which has affected about 16 million adults in the US alone according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
She was happy because she took the time to know herself. She knew what made her happy. She knew what made her tired. She knew what awakened passion within her. She knew when she needed correction. She knew when she was doing better. She knew when she was heading in the right path. She knew what came to distract her. She knew how to stay focused. She knew all this because she knew herself.
With belief you can do anything, anywhere and can have it all. Belief is what rules this world. Your own personal world is governed by your own personal beliefs. When you adopt another’s belief that goes against what you want, that is what prevents you from manifesting. When your words and actions do not match what you want then you are practicing a different belief. It’s time to think about what you are believing and what in your life is contracting your beliefs. This is talked about more in the Love & Confidence Challenge.
If you don’t like the way things are going, then its time for you to change it up. You must realize that everything you are doing right now is building your legacy. What do you want to be know for? What kind of person are you? Are you living in your purpose? Are you too busy living in your past to build on your today and tomorrow? There are steps to building a legacy and one of those steps is self care. To learn more about building your legacy click here.
Not everyone can subscribe to the phrase ‘no new friends.’ In fact some of us may need some new friends. That person who was once a friend may not qualify as being a friend in this phase of your life. As you grow into your becoming it’s important to have friends of value in your life. Those that support you, help you to grow, pick you up when you are down, love you, make you laugh and more. Read More
What do you do when you are the giver but you get nothing? You are just a natural giver and it hurts because who you are giving to is not feeding you and even takes it for granted. Do you let this change you? Do you stop giving to others? When do you start giving to yourself? When do you start feeding you?
Many people are terrified of leaving their comfort zones that even if they are in a painful relationship, they would choose to stay. However, you might be one of those who already found reasons to leave, but just do not know how to finally let go of those who do you wrong.
There are many suggestions on how to leave a painful relationship, but what experts don’t tell you is that doing so requires radical moves. There are only three things to do.
As John Green, the author of Paper Towns, said, “It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
Yes, Women can Have it All
Many people don’t believe that women can have it all. Life-and-work balance seems impossible to mothers who are raising children. Sadly, even single career women feel that it’s impossible to pursue their passion while tackling the challenges of the corporate world. It’s about time to debunk all the myths surrounding women’s capabilities. Whatever people say, there is so much you can do and acquire in your life.
Change your Perspective
The first thing that you need to do is to change the way you think about your skills and abilities. Break the cycle of pessimism. Stop thinking about how people see you. If you hear others talk negatively about you, determine whether it’s true or not. If it’s true, consider improving your behavior. If it’s not true, just ignore what they say.
Love is the best thing that one can give and the sweetest thing that one can get. Yet why do people fear love? In reality, it is not love that people steer clear of but the fear of rejection and pain. People fear expressing love because love that is not reciprocated can be painful. What some people fail to realize is that true love does not expect anything in return. People love because they are designed to love.
According to some studies, 1 out of 3 people who have experienced heartbreak are more skeptical when it comes to gambling with their emotions. The taste of a broken heart, and the bitterness and pain make it difficult for someone to open up again and be vulnerable to loving once more.
Here are some of the steps that help in unlocking your heart to love:
Emotions have been polarized into two broad categories—negative and positive. Here, you are given the types of negative emotions and how to move to its corresponding positive emotions, but alongside is what experts fail to tell you.
Commonly, positive emotions are deemed good, while negative ones are bad: the latter has been found by the Center for Disease Control to have influenced 85 percent of all diseases, making medical conditions more severe.
Dr. Neil Levitsky of Toronto, Ontario, categorized negative emotions into five:
Broken hearts don’t have to stay broken. Broken hearts heal when you decide to let go of thoughts of revenge, let go of grudges and let go of the details. While it is one of the most painful feelings as it shakes your core of what you as a human are here to do ….which is love. Love is also what can mend it.
She learned to be happy with who she was, where she was at this point in her life and what was to come. She new that everything was within her reach. She knew her down days does not outweigh her amazing blessings. She knew she was learning lessens and getting better. BUT what she knew that was guaranteed was that she was loved by God and that she was becoming the person she said she would be. The person that God is molding her to be is finally who she said yes to.
She made time for herself. She knew if she wanted to do anything great in this world and fulfill her purpose she would need to take the time. She couldn’t simply ask for it but she had to make it a priority and take the time for herself to rest, grow and become. She realized she got to where she wanted to be not by rushing or comparing, but by taking the time to invest in herself.
They shouldn’t be able to shake you. UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT. When you connect with your spirit everyday and listen to what is going inside you FIRST, you can then walk through whatever is going on around you and not let it change your focus and how you feel about yourself.
It’s always someone or something waiting on another thing to make a move. It’s rare when the thought to actually make the move with what your have is ever really considered. Yet this is what is mindset that is needed to live your life. The thought to actually start living without feeling the need that you need this money or fearing if you do decide to start where the money will come from can sound intimidating and even a bit impossible.
She removed him because he was blocking her from better. She removed her because she was blocking her from better. She stop doing some of the old things she was doing because that was blocking her from better. She changed her thoughts because she knew that that was blocking her from better. She changed her beliefs because she knew it was blocking her from better. Whatever she realized that blocked her from better she removed because she knew there was more to her than this. She knew she could achieve more, love more and see a better version of herself if she simply removed what she knew was in the way from her being able to experience a life where she can expand in her freedom and live in excitement everyday because she choose faith. Because she choose better.
She once cared but no longer doesn’t. She once lost sleep over thinking about how to please others while still be trying to move forward with what she needed to do. She eventually realized that she had to let go of what everyone’s opinions were about her decisions and make the best moves for herself.
It’s time to take some risks she thought. It’s time to take some risks she said and so she did. In order for her to get to another level she knew that she had to increase her faith. She knew that she had to step into her new world … the unknown and invite a new normal for her to get what no one could offer her. What she wanted was big. What she needed was different from what she new so she took the risk and loved herself for it.
Women of virtue tend to be women who are exclusive. They cannot be bought. They stand firmly in what they believe in. They move and operate in ways that many do not. Not everyone has access to this woman. She is a focused woman who operates to make God happy and understands that her happiness is important. She takes pride in what she does and makes room for areas of growth. When she falls she gets back up stronger and taller. She is a beauty to watch for anyone with a close view.
She kept going because she knew if she made it this far, God would not leave her. She kept going because she believed there was better for her. She kept going because she knew quitting wasn’t an option. She had already invested so much money, time and effort because of her beliefs that to quit on the things that she knew God said was hers was not an option. Despite her feeling tired, broken, misunderstood and alone….she knew it would end like that. In knowing this she continued, she grew and she became.
You should fall in love with the words that you speak towards yourself. You should fall in love with what you are doing. You should fall in love with how you dress. You should fall in love with your life because you should be there for you. Even if you are working to get there, it is important that you speak highly of yourself. In growing in your love and confidence for yourself, what you say about you matters.
You’ve probably heard the saying “You have no business talking about who fell off, if you yourself have never been on…” As daughter’s of the Most High and beautiful Queens, the next woman is never your enemy or competition. A real woman only encourages, promotes and influences for the better herself and others around her DESPITE how the next woman feels about her. You are one who commands respect and in knowing this, you must also be able to give that. When you know where you stand and who you are, NO ONE will ever be able to shake or crack your foundation. NO ONE. It is in this you increased the love you have for yourself and others.
To get what you want there is one more secret that you must know. It is one of the most easiest concepts that many think they seem they know but can’t seem to practice. What is it? Well it is the practice of being at ease. This means to not be anxious over it or worry over it or question how you will get it. Once you have asked, did (or still doing) your part, be at ease and expect it. As the Lord says – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
She never had to force what was for her. As much as she wanted to make things happen, she knew it was wise to do her part and let go of the need to control the rest. God does not need the assistance. She understood that no one needed her help to initiate what she was looking for. As soon as she let go of the control, she quickly received what she needed in the most magical way that only God could provide it to her.
A classic soul is one that is true to oneself. That woman is one of a kind. That woman loves herself and operates in confidence. She speaks life into others and things around her. She not only sees the bigger picture but understands she is part of the bigger picture. She may not be the trend but she is what everyone truly searches for in a friend and other forms of divine relationships that cannot be mimicked.
Being ready means you took the time to heal, you took the time to become stronger, you took the time to get better, you set up new habits and freed yourself from the distractions. For anything that you are looking forward to, get ready and be ready. What you prepare for now invites what you want in much sooner than you think. A part of your journey to being “that woman” is to prepare. Prepare for who you say you want to be.
You can move away from all things that hurt you when you allow yourself to feel God. What does this mean? This means deciding you will no longer focus on your pain. No longer allow your pain to master you but you to speak to it. When you feel God you feel love, joy and freedom. When you choose to heal and grow in this love you grow in the confidence and love you have for yourself.
Letting go is never an easy thing to do. No one has ever mastered the secrets of achieving the perfect state of having moved on from losing someone who meant so much in your life. For even the smartest people on earth sometimes become dumb when it comes to love and are of no exception to fail in loving.
Letting go is definitely a process. The following are helpful ways for you to gradually pick up the pieces of your heart:
Love. People say it is a connection of two hearts, accepting someone with all his imperfections and seeing perfection in that person. Given that definition, it can be quite hard to find love. Love and relationship experts say that in order to be happy in life, you need to find Mr. or Ms. Right who will truly love and accept you. But what they won’t tell you is that you do not really have to look for this person anymore. Why? Read More
In order for any blessing to be received with gratitude, you must love yourself. Despite what you have, what you feel you lack and your insecurities, your ability to understand who God created (which is you).. is the ultimate blessing. Your strength lies within loving yourself.
If you didn’t know anything about today, I want you to know this……all the change you seek, the happiness you want to feel and the woman you are inspiring to be starts in your today. You got this today. You are in control ..today. You are a new you today. You can forgive yourself today. You can celebrate yourself today. You can give God the glory today. Regardless of what happened yesterday and rejoice because you have today.