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Be Confidently You

Be Confidently You

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In Paris Hilton’s memoir, she said “Always pretend you are wearing an invisible crown. I do.” Unfortunately not everyone has the confidence of this celebrity. She makes it look a cakewalk but everyone knows being confident is a lot harder than it looks.

First off, what is confidence? What does it mean to be a confident individual? Is it about the way you walk and talk and dress? In some ways, it actually does involve those things. But the heart of being confident has to do with being comfortable in your own skin. It is about being who you are regardless of what society tells you to be. When you are secure with yourself, it flows out of you and into everything you are and do. There is no yard stick on how one should act to be confident. Confident people just are.  Contrary to popular belief, the loudest person in the room is not the most confident. The loudest people are usually just cocky. Just because a person is quiet does not necessarily mean that they are not confident. Confident people know how to be heard just as much as they know how to listen.

People of all ages struggle with confidence, teenagers especially. Puberty is an incredibly awkward experience and without proper guidance, natural insecurities can be harbored and carried all the way into adulthood. People do not realize that doubting yourself is completely normal. They do not want to admit they are flawed. But no one is perfect. No one is good at everything. Confidence, like any other skill, can be learned, cultivated and mastered. Even the best public speakers know what stage fright feels like. Even the best doctors once wondered if their diagnosis was correct. It takes time to learn how to be okay with being you. Is it difficult? Sometimes but it is also necessary and worth it.

So how does one go about being confident? The following are tips that can help you accept yourself as and become the confident person you were always meant to be.

  1. Introspect.

Confidence is about being you. A janitor must be treated the same way as a CEO because money is not a determination of self-worth. Neither are skills or other people. It comes from knowing you are and loving yourself for it. Be kind to yourself. Life gets hard sometimes but it does not rob you of your worth. Acknowledge your assets and see your flaws as areas to improve on. Most importantly, do not make a habit of constantly second guessing. Trust that you know what you are doing.

2. Fake it until you make it. Kind of.

Do not take this out of context. Do not be a fake. Faking it just means that even when you are facing your scary boss and your knees are weak because you know you messed up, you stand tall and own up to it. Dig deep into your soul and believe that you are not one mistake so that when you walk into his office, he can let out the tirade you deserve and you will not be a blubbering mess. Take responsibility and learn from it but keep your chin up. You can cry later.  Think of it as practice for the day that confidence becomes natural to you.

3. Keep yourself grounded.

There is a fine line between being confident and being cocky. Oftentimes when people have achieved great success they forget the difference. Remember where you came from. A tree cannot reach the skies without its roots firmly on the ground. Do not think yourself better than other people because of your accomplishments. You may be unique but so is everyone else.

4. Do you.

The most important thing about being confident is to stay true to yourself. When they say dress confidently, wear what you feel like wearing even if no one else likes it. Do not let yourself be confined by what society says is trending. There will always be resistance when you swim against the current. People may disagree with you but they will come and go. Your opinion is what matters most. Do you, be you. You might be pleasantly surprised at how many people like you as you are too.